Gracie Gold's memoir published February 2024

[leilaofpaper]

My sisters are 7 and 11 years older than me and we always had a close relationship. I am surprised to read by so many how the big age gap was the reason not to have one.

I think it depends on distance, and how often you see them. You’re more likely not to see a sibling who is significantly older than you.

On the flip side I have a brother who is 3 months older who I have only spoken to twice, but we only found out about each other 4 years ago.

 

[orbitz]

I still remember the interview with Brian Orser right after his scores in Calgary telling him, "great skate but you finished second." WTF?!

Santee was an inexperienced K&C interviewer hired for the 88 Games. Jim McKay, the ABC Wild World of Sport long time journalist, repeatedly spoke into Santee's earpiece that "he finished second" as Santee was talking to Orser, so it wasn't a surprised at all that Santee said what he did during the interview. Unfortunately the only person who got all of the public hate was Santee.

 

[Former Lurve Goddess]

I doubt Skate Canada has this much power anymore, but there is a court case from the 1990s about Toller Cranston getting fired by CBC after CFSA (now Skate Canada) thought he wasn’t supportive enough of Canadian skaters on air. Here’s an excerpt of what CFSA wrote to CBC as per the court case:

“There is, however, growing concern among our members and our World Skating Team athletes regarding the negative viewpoint of your commentator, Toller Cranston. Reading recent media articles (as attached) there appears to be a concerted effort to negate the efforts of Canadian skaters, in particular, two-time World Champion, Kurt Browning.

Given the mandate of the CBC, we wonder if such activity is acceptable? We await your comments on this matter in order to relay the information to our young athletes who are training intently for the World event.”

1994 CanLII 7408 (ON SC) | Cranston v. Canadian Broadcasting Corp. | CanLII

Access all information related to judgment Cranston v. Canadian Broadcasting Corp., 1994 CanLII 7408 (ON SC) on CanLII.

www.canlii.org

Networks will have a nationalistic bias in part for advertising, which can be irritating to my ears sometimes.

I loved Toller's snarky commentary and have always been glad he won his lawsuit.

 

[LeafOnTheWind]

I don't know my youngest sister as well as the other two. She was 0-8 yrs old when I still lived at home and then I was at college. Our third born sister is really the one that ties all of us together. She grew up with everyone.

 

[Frau Muller]

This thread has drifted like crazy.

Analysis of Kiss & Cry TV moments…I remember Dick Button standing by the boards - before Kiss & Cries appeared - as skaters stood on the ice to hear & see their marks, as judges held up scores. I remember Tim Wood trying to flee as Dick came in close, with a microphone.

 

[mattiecat13]

So while he comes off as tough, he's probably a very different kind of tough than her old coaches. You just need to be the same wavelength of intensely dedicated - a good personality match - and Gracie and him weren't a good match.

I think that Frank, after the drama with Christopher Bowman, whom he genuinely cared about, and the sudden surprising parting from Michelle, whom he also cared about, decided he did not want to get emotionally tied to a skater again.

 

[Aceon6]

I think that Frank, after the drama with Christopher Bowman, whom he genuinely cared about, and the sudden surprising parting from Michelle, whom he also cared about, decided he did not want to get emotionally tied to a skater again.

I got that feeling, too, but I think it started years earlier. First, he loses a lot of his friends and mentors in the 1961 crash. He was living with the Vinsons the year before and was touring with Ice Capades at the time of the crash, so never really had much chance to come home and grieve. Things like that tend to stay as emotional baggage for a long time.

 

[Coco]

Of course, this is also a man who could hold a young skater he cared about upside down over a trash can.

 

[Private Citizen]

I didn't realize it was a secret that Gracie was bisexual or a smoker. Gracie was pretty openly in a relationship with a woman before she went to rehab. And she has been smoking very publicly, including at competitions, for awhile now.

Thanks for all of the other info! The Coughlin chapter sounds heartbreaking.

 

[kwanfan1818]

I think the surprise wasn’t that she was a smoker like many skaters, but that she wasn’t until she went to rehab.

 

[Private Citizen]

Her smoking and vaping timeline tracks with her inability to get through a long program since her comeback, despite being fit and well-trained. If any skaters read her book and think smoking is glamorous, just watch Gold struggle to breathe and start singling and doubling jumps in any free skate. Skaters can often get away with smoking in their teens and early 20s, but it starts to catch up with them quickly after that.

 

[bardtoob]

Johnny also used to rip into Tennell pretty often for who knows what reasons.

IMO Johnny has had a chip on his shoulder regarding American skaters that were or are favored by the USFSA because . . . he wasn't.

I wasn't impressed with Frank's public announcement that their working relationship was over without notifying Gracie first.

Gracie was lashing out at him, and he had to remove himself before it became deeply dysfunctional.

It is important to remember that American coaches do not have the same authority over pupils as in other countries. The only thing he really could do that would benefit her was publicly say he thought she was deeply depressed so that somebody with some authority would or could respond.

 

[snoopysnake]

Detroit? (musical comedy fans will get it)

Can do! Remember Javi Fernandez in 2016?

 

[snoopysnake]

Santee was an inexperienced K&C interviewer hired for the 88 Games. Jim McKay, the ABC Wild World of Sport long time journalist, repeatedly spoke into Santee's earpiece that "he finished second" as Santee was talking to Orser, so it wasn't a surprised at all that Santee said what he did during the interview. Unfortunately the only person who got all of the public hate was Santee.

I remember thinking that Santee sounded very unsympathetic when he informed Gillian Wachsman and Todd Waggoner that they had finished in fifth place. (1988 Olympics - pairs.) Maybe I was inferring something not there, but I sensed a "Nyaah" in Santee's vocal delivery of that result.

 

[snoopysnake]

I kinda got the impression from what she wrote that Frank isn't willing to get too close anymore, not since Chris Bowman. So it's kind of self preservation for him. My take, anyways.

Also since Michelle Kwan. It's clear that that didn't end well, even though we'll probably never know what really happened. I would imagine that Gracie would have mentioned it in her book, if Frank had ever confided in her about Michelle.

 

[snoopysnake]

I think the surprise wasn’t that she was a smoker like many skaters, but that she wasn’t until she went to rehab.

Yes, exactly. Any athlete must be aware that smoking will harm their health, performance, and looks, for the rest of their lives if they don't quit. If they aren't aware of it, something is wrong in their coaching. Someone must have convinced Gracie that she should try what she admits in her book was formerly, to her, a disgusting habit.


(BTW, my mother died of lung cancer due to her smoking. I will never stop pointing out how terrible smoking is. I know this pisses off a lot of people, but if I have a chance to influence one person to quit, it is worth it.)

 

[pixie cut]

Throughout his coaching career, Frank Carroll was never one to get too close to his skaters or their families. One notable exception was Linda Fratianne's mother, but that friendship really happened after Linda retired. Whatever the reason behind it, it's just how he was. It doesn't mean he was cold or unfeeling, although he probably was to some skaters at some times, it was just how he drew his boundaries. I vaguely recall some interview where he said skating parents are discouraged from calling him at night unless there was a dire emergency.

Lots of skaters smoked, especially the Soviet/Russian girls back in the day. It's how they kept their weight down. From reading postings on this board, it appears now they just plain starve them.

 

[Allskate]

In an IG story today, Gracie included a post from someone who suggested that Gracie is neurodivergent but was given no tools to help her. I had been thinking the same thing reading her book. The lack of filter, the non-stop talking, the emotional dysregulation, the references to dopamine, the problems with time, focus, and operating without structure, and the sensory sensitivity all seem to be indications of that. And, there are some indications that she has rejection sensitivity dysphoria. She wasn't able to forgive herself for coming in fourth at Worlds. But, she also seemed to think that others were upset with her for that, and I'm not sure that really was the case. Maybe her mother really meant it when she told Gracie that fourth in the world was great, and it wasn't just platitudes. Maybe Frank and people at USFS genuinely were concerned about her.

 

[Lynn226]

Gracie was lashing out at him, and he had to remove himself before it became deeply dysfunctional.

It is important to remember that American coaches do not have the same authority over pupils as in other countries. The only thing he really could do that would benefit her was publicly say he thought she was deeply depressed so that somebody with some authority would or could respond.

I agree that Frank had a right to protect himself from Gracie's verbal abuse. She clearly has anger management problems and sometimes relationships have to be ended without informing the other individual in person. Mental health issues do not excuse behavior and in this case she was the abuser.

Thank you for bringing up this point of view. I was only seeing Gracie's side when I was reading the book, even though I'm a huge admirer of Frank Carroll. In my fantasy alt universe, he's my coach and I live in a cabin at Lake Arrowhead.

 

[Allskate]

I wasn't impressed with Frank's public announcement that their working relationship was over without notifying Gracie first.

Gracie was lashing out at him, and he had to remove himself before it became deeply dysfunctional.

This was what bothered me the most about what Gracie says about him (and the fact that I don't think he was helpful when it came to her eating disorder). I can understand why he wouldn't like her getting mad and yelling at him, and he apparently was apprehensive about her being difficult even before he agreed to coach her. It does sound like she gets mad, doesn't have a filter, and yells a lot, and that included yelling at Alex (who really, really sounds like he was bad for her and should not be coaching). Most coaches would be unhappy about that and also be concerned about the impact on other skaters training with her. But IMO, that's still not an excuse for him to not privately tell her that he wasn't going to coach her anymore. She should not have had to find out from the media.

I don't fault him for not getting personally close to Gracie or other skaters. She seemed to want a father figure, and even when he said things indicating that he wanted to help her, she thought that she couldn't have an open conversation with him. But, if she wanted that kind of coach, she probably should have chosen someone else. Not all coaches are like that, and that might actually be a healthy thing. She seemed to want close relationships even with figure skating officials who indicated that they wanted to help her.

I was only seeing Gracie's side when I was reading the book, even though I'm a huge admirer of Frank Carroll.

I think it's possible to see Frank's side, but still have a lot of empathy for both of them. Reading this part of the book, there were times when I felt like hugging both of them.

 

[AnnM]

The only thing I can contribute (since I haven't read the book yet) is that Frank Carroll was sitting across the aisle from me at '22 Nationals. He paid close attention to her performance and applauded enthusiastically for Gracie.

 

[canbelto]

Tje thing about Alex is that he was an excellent technical coach. Gracie's jump technique was incredible.

 

[Willin]

This was what bothered me the most about what Gracie says about him (and the fact that I don't think he was helpful when it came to her eating disorder). I can understand why he wouldn't like her getting mad and yelling at him, and he apparently was apprehensive about her being difficult even before he agreed to coach her. It does sound like she gets mad, doesn't have a filter, and yells a lot, and that included yelling at Alex (who really, really sounds like he was bad for her and should not be coaching). Most coaches would be unhappy about that and also be concerned about the impact on other skaters training with her. But IMO, that's still not an excuse for him to not privately tell her that he wasn't going to coach her anymore. She should not have had to find out from the media.

I don't fault him for not getting personally close to Gracie or other skaters. She seemed to want a father figure, and even when he said things indicating that he wanted to help her, she thought that she couldn't have an open conversation with him. But, if she wanted that kind of coach, she probably should have chosen someone else. Not all coaches are like that, and that might actually be a healthy thing. She seemed to want close relationships even with figure skating officials who indicated that they wanted to help her.


I think it's possible to see Frank's side, but still have a lot of empathy for both of them. Reading this part of the book, there were times when I felt like hugging both of them.

I remember, when she went to Frank, the only thing I ever heard about this pair was that it was heavily orchestrated and encouraged by USFS. Frank was Tammy before Tammy: the coach USFS wanted all their top ladies to work with. And Gracie, being USFS's new quintessential ice princess, was though to need their quintessential ice princess coach.

In that sense I'm not sure how much choice either one really had in this - we've seen plenty of cases where coaching changes have happened due to political pressure despite reservations on one or both sides. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

The only thing I can contribute (since I haven't read the book yet) is that Frank Carroll was sitting across the aisle from me at '22 Nationals. He paid close attention to her performance and applauded enthusiastically for Gracie.

This is why I'm not as outraged as other people about the jacket tossing incident. Tempers and emotions were high for both of them - and Gracie openly admits this in the book. She also admits she told him to throw the jacket away: he was following her directions. I'm not even mad about how he "fired" her (it happens more than you'd think that coaches fire skaters - it's just usually not public).

I honestly don't think either one really hates one another or blames one another. I think they both just have complicated pasts, personalities, personal baggage, methods, etc. that didn't mesh well with each other - and while that's not fine in a coaching/student relationship, that can be perfectly fine outside of one. You don't have to work together well to have mutual respect.

 

[Lacey]

My two oldest children are 14 and 13 years older than the third, one had a different father. They have always had very close relationships, up to and including currently when each of their 9 children were born all over the country and now when the 3 of them and their 9 children get together and have weekends and week long family vacations at least once per year, and those relatives ask to and want to be together. They want photos of each other and they want the real thing of being together. All of this is great for us old people Grammy & Pop Pop!

 

[flyingsit]

I think Frank and Gracie did the best they could have given the conditions at the time. She wrote “I’m sad at how things ended with both Alex and Frank, but more so Frank, because had the time line been different he would have been my forever coach.”

Sure sounds to me like she has no hard feelings toward him.

 

[Foolhardy Ham Lint]

I've just finished reading Gold's book, and she is definitely a phoenix rising from the ashes.

As fantastic as it would have been for her to win the 2016 World Championships (and I still consider her first place in the short program which I saw live a massive victory), this powerful read will likely keep her in our hearts far longer than that kind of achievement ever might.

This is a tremendous gift to give fans and followers, and I congratulate Gold on her candid bravery and strength. A true champion.

 

[overedge]

In addition to his coaching skills, Frank was also very good at the politicks. Not pushing untalented skaters to be rewarded more than they should be, but knowing lots of international and national judges and officials (from his having been involved in the sport for so long) and letting them know what to watch for with his skaters. That's another reason why skaters were encouraged to go to him.

 

[Theatregirl1122]

Also since Michelle Kwan. It's clear that that didn't end well, even though we'll probably never know what really happened. I would imagine that Gracie would have mentioned it in her book, if Frank had ever confided in her about Michelle.

Frank does not seem like the type to confide in a student.

 

[Sparks]

Why would he? Frank always had excellent boundaries

 

[TanithandBenFan]

I finished the book today and was so impressed by the writing. The subject of Chapter 17 was so delicate, but it was done so thoughtfully and eloquently. I was sobbing as I read it because I could feel Gracie’s pain and grief and confusion. The final chapter also hit me right in the heart, especially her letter to skating.

I was surprised by how many details she gave regarding the skater who assaulted her. I was able to figure out pretty easily who it was. I hope she’ll be able to get justice through her case.