Kaitlyn Weaver hopes her coming out story finally breaks figure skating's female archetype

[tony]

I'm just asking, but to me it seems kids are just more open these days? Would a boy really listen to any homophobic insults? I was the first and only person in my high school to be 'out' over 30 years ago. Of course, I never cared what idiots thought. I'd imagine there would be more 'out there' people like me these days...

Come on. While it might be true that being out or comfortable with yourself at a younger age is 'easier' than it was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago, there are plenty of places within the US and the world that want no part in any kid deciding to come out or proclaim that they are different in any way. There are big sections of the US where grown adults still suffer insults and attacks because of being gay.

I really, really get bothered when posters say 'well I did it this way when I was younger' as if everyone else has the same mental capacity to do the same thing. You were comfortable with yourself and you didn't care? I truly applaud that. But the fact is that most LGBTQ children grow up always having to hide things, always having to be be ultra-aware (you want the word ultra? There you go) of everything they are doing, etc. and some don't have the resources to get out of small town X or wherever they are to attempt to live a more comfortable life, nor can they escape the wrath of parents or other family that don't 'get' it.

Skating isn't going to escape the concept of 'that's a gay sport', much like RPDR isn't suddenly going to have a cast of straight men wanting to be drag queens. But for a long time, the powers that be really didn't do anything to support LGBTQ athletes nor did they want them to come out. Finally, the tides are turning.

ETA- I also find it disturbing how many figure skating Bible-thumpers, whether big fans or just casual fans who follow certain skaters, run to social media to completely trash anything mentioning LGBTQ or human rights in general. Wake up.

ETA2- there was a meme going around the last few days that says "gay culture is: being a teenager in your 30s because your teenage years weren't yours to live". This being afraid of the world around them is something young LGBTQ are still dealing with constantly.

 

[ЭPiKUilyam]

Come on. While it might be true that being out or comfortable with yourself at a younger age is 'easier' than it was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago, there are plenty of places within the US and the world that want no part in any kid deciding to come out or proclaim that they are different in any way. There are big sections of the US where grown adults still suffer insults and attacks because of being gay.

I really, really get bothered when posters say 'well I did it this way when I was younger' as if everyone else has the same mental capacity to do the same thing. You were comfortable with yourself and you didn't care? I truly applaud that. But the fact is that most LGBTQ children grow up always having to hide things, always having to be be ultra-aware (you want the word ultra? There you go) of everything they are doing, etc. and some don't have the resources to get out of small town X or wherever they are to attempt to live a more comfortable life, nor can they escape the wrath of parents or other family that don't 'get' it.

Skating isn't going to escape the concept of 'that's a gay sport', much like RPDR isn't suddenly going to have a cast of straight men wanting to be drag queens. But for a long time, the powers that be really didn't do anything to support LGBTQ athletes nor did they want them to come out. Finally, the tides are turning.

Yes, finally, thankfully. No, I wasn't saying that every gay boy in PigScrew, Texas should come out just because I did almost four decades ago. That was not my intention. What I am seeing through my friends are their kids or their kids' friends ARE coming out in high school and it's not a huge deal. There are GayStraightAlliance groups that gay kids can be involved in. I wish I had that back then. I was too scared to make friends with people because I figured they'd all hate me if they only knew the real me. FB was an interesting experience for me when I joined. I'd get tons of friend requests and I had no idea they'd be supportive of me after all those years. It was uplifting to get reqs saying "I really want to say how impressed I've always been with you, and hoped that you'd have a great life" or whatever. I mean, jeez, all I needed was one or two gay-friendly friends. Another friend's daughter in a conservative town in a conservative state came out as a lesbian and she was voted student body president. Things are MUCH different today.

Will there always be ignorant rednecks who make fun of male skaters? Yep. Will more people agree with the rednecks, or think they are redneck bigots? I think it would be much more even these days. That's all.

 

[PeterG]

Re getting more boys into the sport - homophobia is a barrier. Many people see figure skating as a 'gay' sport for men. I know two guys who will automatically say something about homosexuality should I mention figure skating. One friend will watch the ladies, but never the men - as if he might catch the gay 'disease' just from watching. It's really sad.

Oh, I get it now. I remember walking through the living room back in 1974 when figure skating was on the TV. Toller Cranston was skating. So THAT'S how I got it.

 

[Theatregirl1122]

As a high school teacher in a very blue and theoretically accepting state, yeah, homophobic insults still exist, kids still stay in the closet because they are afraid, and coming out is still hard.

 

[starrynight]

I know it's irrational, but I stopped liking Reese Witherspoon because I saw SHA and how she treated Bobby Ray. It wasn't that I can't distinguish a movie from real life, but it seemed so out of character for Reese's character to out him in such a way. I always thought she was bright and had a head on her shoulders, and if the script called for her outing her best friend, she could have thought up a better way. She was just hateful in that movie. It was no wonder the town sided with the gay guy. Uggh. I dunno, I didn't hate Reese in that Tracy Flick movie, since many of us could identify with Tracy Flick. But in SHA, it was too much for my senses, at least.

I think the point of that scene was that the character was awful and that it was a mean thing to do.

Afterwards, Bobby Ray’s friends had to mop up the mess she created by assuring Bobby that they still accepted him as their friend. And she did apologise to him later.

I think it was just meant to be a mean thing. Because her character Melanie was a pretty awful selfish snob at the start. It really was the rock bottom moment for her character when she picked on the nice character who had always been kind to her.

 

[ЭPiKUilyam]

I think the point of that scene was that the character was awful and that it was a mean thing to do.

Afterwards, Bobby Ray’s friends had to mop up the mess she created by assuring Bobby that they still accepted him as their friend. And she did apologise to him later.

I think it was just meant to be a mean thing. Because her character Melanie was a pretty awful selfish snob at the start. It really was the rock bottom moment for her character when she picked on the nice character who had always been kind to her.

Thinking about that scene still saddens me. Why did they have to have Bobby be in the closet, instead of just having a secret crush on someone that Reese exposed? What she did to that man wasn't just hateful. It was DANGEROUS. In Alabama??? He could be killed. It just didn't belong in a movie. So sad. I could imagine myself in that position and then fear for my life. Her behavior was unforgivable. At least, I'd never be friends with her again if she did that to me. That is a MAJOR character flaw. You don't hit below the belt, especially if it could mean potential fatal harm to that person.

 

[starrynight]

All those rom coms operate in a weird dumb alternative reality, though.

But I think that having Bobby Rays friends accept him and stand up to Melanie was a nice message. And although not necessarily culturally accurate, perhaps it is a lot better to change the narrative than further give oxygen to bigotry.

I think that was Dan Levy’s approach with schitt’s Creek.

Anyway @ErikWilliam I think the two of us have had more deep thoughts about Sweet Home Alabama than anyone in history in this thread! I’m quite astonished I found someone else who has taken a sec to think about this plot line in a 20 year old rom com!

 

[Sylvia]

Originally posted in the "LGBTQ+ in figure skating" thread on February 5, 2022:

Here's a fantastic article on Kaitlyn Weaver, performing as a queer woman in ice dance, and coming out from The Guardian:

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2...as-so-much-more-to-me-than-i-was-able-to-show

Kelowna Capital news article (May 17, 2022) before the 5/18 Stars on Ice show there:

Overcoming figure skating’s gender norms in Kelowna - Kelowna Capital News

Kaitlyn Weaver, ‘accidental activist’, is skating with Stars on Ice in Kelowna May 18

www.kelownacapnews.com

Direct link to Kaitlyn's 2-min. video: https://blackpress.tv/video.php?id=49952

 

[Sylvia]

Kaitlyn appeared on ET Canada earlier today: https://twitter.com/ETCanada/status/1539340649874464769

https://twitter.com/x/status/1539340649874464769

ETA

Kaitlyn has tweeted the link to watch her entire guest appearance that was streamed on YT yesterday: https://twitter.com/kaitlynonice/status/1539389763488186368
Her segment starts here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hm38ESHYE1c&t=38s

 

[Sylvia]

"Celebrating Pride with Olympians and figure skaters @ericradford85 @ka2sh & @skateraya" - today's IG Live replay video is posted now on the IOC Young Leaders' Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CfW38YEIERh/

 

[Sylvia]

Reviving this thread almost 2 years later...

Olympic Ice Dancer Kaitlyn Weaver Challenges the Culture of a Hyper Feminine Sport by Lois Elfman (for the April 2024 issue of Curve magazine:

Olympic Ice Dancer Kaitlyn Weaver Challenges the Culture of a Hyper Feminine Sport - CURVE

How does a woman in a sport that celebrates conventional femininity adapt when she comes out? This being ice skating, that is indeed a slippery prospect. But just like learning a new skating maneuver, it can be an exhilarating work in progress.

www.curvemag.com

 

[kalamalka]

Reviving this thread almost 2 years later...

Olympic Ice Dancer Kaitlyn Weaver Challenges the Culture of a Hyper Feminine Sport by Lois Elfman (for the April 2024 issue of Curve magazine:

Olympic Ice Dancer Kaitlyn Weaver Challenges the Culture of a Hyper Feminine Sport - CURVE

How does a woman in a sport that celebrates conventional femininity adapt when she comes out? This being ice skating, that is indeed a slippery prospect. But just like learning a new skating maneuver, it can be an exhilarating work in progress.

www.curvemag.com

A really interesting article - thanks for posting it.

 

[layman]

Reviving this thread almost 2 years later...

Olympic Ice Dancer Kaitlyn Weaver Challenges the Culture of a Hyper Feminine Sport by Lois Elfman (for the April 2024 issue of Curve magazine:

Olympic Ice Dancer Kaitlyn Weaver Challenges the Culture of a Hyper Feminine Sport - CURVE

How does a woman in a sport that celebrates conventional femininity adapt when she comes out? This being ice skating, that is indeed a slippery prospect. But just like learning a new skating maneuver, it can be an exhilarating work in progress.

www.curvemag.com

Thank you for sharing! Now I am more curious than ever to see some of Kaitlyn Weaver's choreography. Do we know who she is choreographing for in this upcoming season (or in the past)?

 

[Sylvia]

This past season Kaitlyn Weaver worked with Randi Strong on Amber Glenn's SP. She also choreographed Isabella Flores/Ivan Desyatov's West Side Story FD and Leah Neset/Artem Markelov's Junior RD, and for several of Mie Hamada's skaters, including Hana Yoshida's & Mao Shimada's SPs. Weaver recently choreographed new programs for F/D & N/M and will for Amber again too. She also has choreographed SPs for Gabrielle Daleman and Josephine Lee.