Here's the one thought I do have right now... Girl, when your parents make you break up with the boy, maybe they have sound reasoning for pushing you in that direction. But, of course, she's a teenager and didn't really want to listen to her parents...
She did not. I saw it on a preliminary tweet of the news article translation but I'm not positive that it has been stated explicitly by Haein or anyone else associated with her.
I don't remember her mentioning numbers at all. As I understand it, the number 17 arose from the concept that 18 is the age of majority. But in Korea, age is a very confusing category. They have their own standard and there is an international standard. Therefore, even if a Korean mentions age, I’m not even sure that I understand what age they are talking about.
Yeah, I don´t get it how people can really say it´s okay because they were dating. The age gap is sick. Even if it was the other way around is bad, but I find it particular bad this way around - no shaming on women dating younger, I think it´s great as long as they are both adults. But boys mature typically later than girls, and a 13 year old boy is not even as mature as a girl at his own age. Also there are not only age dynamics here, but power dynamics in a senior skater with a junior skater. From my understanding there is a dynamic particular in the South Korean skating community.She's also, apparently, trying to use her own age when the relationship began as part of her defense - that it is excusable because she was 17 (and he was 13
). Uhm, that makes it even worse, IMO. 17-yr olds have no business being in a romantic relationship with 13-yr olds, full stop.
I don't really think age actually matters (unless specified as fact somewhere), and I'm not entirely sure if this 13/17 gap - again, if at all real - is within cultural norms in Korea or not. There's a biological reality that's pretty much universal, and there's a cultural reality that is much less so. This is not me justifying any possible relationship (and certainly not anything non-consensual, as seemed to be the case here at least initially), but rather to point out opinions can indeed differ, depending on the country.
Age does matter as a teenager. During puberty you develop the part of the brain (frontal) that makes you think consequences, reflecting upon choices etc. Before that you act more on impulses and fun, not thinking about consequences, and as the hormones start acting you add it up with a lot more of emotions running in your body. It´s a biological fact and has nothing to do with the culture in your country. The brain of a 13 year old boy that just started puberty is not evolved like a 17 year old female, and boys develope slower than women. And a 17 year female should know that and be aware of it, and not potentially exploit someone that is acting more on impulses. You can compare it to when you drink alcohol, you act more on impulses and don´t think consequences or reflect - that is basically how developed a 13 year old boy brain is. A mature sober human being would be aware when someone is affected by alcohol/drunk and advise them and take care of them, so they are not doing something stupid they would regret when they are sober again. The same kind of act and consideration should we have when it comes to teenager who brains are not fully developed.
Can we please refrain from IDing the victim by age or other determining attributes?
It´s not like we are naming the victim with discussing the age difference. For instance, i´m not aware of the ages of the different junior male skaters in the team.
I'm not really interested in this discussion about biology, my point is what we consider normal might not be the case elsewhere.
Uhm, it matters in legal cases, which I thought is the case here. There is a reason for legal age and age of consent, and biological plays a big part.
You don't even know what their ages were, let alone to talk about age of consent.
I don’t remember knowing about this at the age of 17.
It depends on the "online community" in question, but there are a lot of trolls on Korean social media. I wouldn't take the words (or their translations online) as meaning anything.
Has it been reported that any underage athlete was actively involved in drinking (as opposed to, say, simply being present in the scene)? Note that neither Lee nor Athlete B was a minor when the misconduct occured, while Athlete C was and still is.
Brief summary please?
Just that in Korea, SA between partners is seen as a private matter but underage drinking in teen girls is seen as a huge taboo.
Well, neither girl was underage, and I have huge doubts the first is at all true for a generalization. So I'll reiterate - trolls on Korean sns. Well known. Ignore.
She gave him a hickey, and he is getting psychological counseling. This, in a nutshell, shows why "sexual harassment" perfectly describes what she did, and why consent should not be a defense.
Maybe I got lost in translation, but it seemed to me that his psychological trauma was due to the public scandal and understanding of the seriousness of the situation for everyone, and not because of the kiss on the neck.
I don't know that we can make that assumption. There is, clearly, a lot more to this story than we know. Haein herself admitted that her parents made her break up with him in the past. What were the reasons for her parents objecting to the relationship? Were his parents also aware of and protesting the relationship? Haein is trying to shape the narrative and public perception of what happened and we need to be aware of that as well as any other information that is out there about the young man and, especially, his psychological condition.
Especially because this comment from a redditor on that post:
