Gracie Gold's memoir published February 2024

[KCC]

I downloaded the book to my Kindle. Wow.

 

[peibeck]

My copy was waiting on my stoop when I got home from work. I just casually leafed through it and was already surprised by news that Gracie comes out as bisexual. Literally I just flipped through and didn't expect to read that.

I'm still finishing the Streisand memoir, then I'll get into this, but from the few details I've seen posted here already it sounds pretty compelling.

 

[PRlady]

PRkid just gave me the hard bound book for my birthday.

 

[Foolhardy Ham Lint]

On chapter 6 now, some of the verbal/mental/emotional abuse that she was subjected to by coaches early in her career is horrifying. The fact that so many parents accept it as a means for "success" is one of the first things that needs to be obliterated from youth sports immediately.

I've yet to read Gracie's book, but I am reminded of Little Girls In Pretty Boxes which detailed the horror show behind the scenes in gymnastics and figure skating. That some of the parents accepted such treatment of their children as part of the climb to success without question, absolutely baffles me.

 

[peibeck]

I've yet to read Gracie's book, but I am reminded of Little Girls In Pretty Boxes which detailed the horror show behind the scenes in gymnastics and figure skating. That some of the parents accepted such treatment of their children as part of the climb to success without question, absolutely baffles me.

I've already seen several people say Gracie's memoir is a 21st century sequel to "Little Girls in Pretty Boxes."

ETA: There must be buzz about this book, because it went from #850 on Amazon's bestseller list to #105 in less than 24 hours, and it's #9 in memoirs. For a bio on a niche sport, that's pretty impressive to me

 

[peibeck]

https://twitter.com/TODAYshow/status/1754868380148932938?t=BZKWP2cCz0oNPFipBxNA4Q&s=19

Interview with Gracie this morning on the "Today" show with Savanah Guthrie.

 

[Allskate]

Gracie's piece in Elle:

Gracie Gold Doesn’t Want to Be Your Golden Girl

In an exclusive essay for ELLE.com, the figure skating champion opens up about her mental health struggles and returning to the ice.

www.elle.com

 

[4rkidz]

Got delivered to my kobo today so I started it in my bath! Easy reading so will be a short read I think.

 

[layman]

https://twitter.com/TODAYshow/status/1754868380148932938?t=BZKWP2cCz0oNPFipBxNA4Q&s=19

Interview with Gracie this morning on the "Today" show with Savanah Guthrie.

I really enjoyed Gracie's interview on the Today Show with Savanah Guthrie. I have not gotten her book yet but the interview was enlightening.

Also here:

Figure skater Gracie Gold speaks candidly on mental health battle

Olympic figure skater Gracie Gold joins TODAY and opens up about her private struggle with mental health, sexual assault and suicidal thoughts detailed in he...

www.youtube.com

I am so proud of Gracie. The stuff she revealed in her interview left me very unsettled. What Gracie said about the way the Figure Skating establishment failed her (and the way they tried to silence her), deeply saddened me, but I am so impressed with her courage to speak out and to speak her truth. I do believe that by speaking out, she is helping others.

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

T

Spoiler: Dont read; Coughlin chapter details

Coughlin had early set Parkinsons. He had symptoms and had been seeing a specialists last year of his life when he spent tons of time with Gold and helped he get back in her feet after rehab. She said she was in love with him, they were soulmates, yet had no physical and sexual relationship. He left her a letter before he took his life. She included the letter in chapter 17.

Holy moly, I don’t know if I can keep going through this thread, clicking on spoiler links. Each one has been shocking so far. Wow

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

Read the whole thing pretty quick.

Spoiler

Would certainly seem to be him. All of the clues were there. She mentions that he was In the LA area and that he would come to the rink just to pop off a few triples to show that he 'still could', which Kulik has highlighted on his social media a bit over the last few years. But it also mentions that Frank & her team got said person banned from showing up there. I think Gracie mentioned the extent of it was him making comments about her 'nice ass' or something.

Spoiler

I think she does a great job at verbalizing the internal conflict that happens when these types of things come up, and it shows to everyone that a typical 'he/she's guilty!' response just isn't reasonable for many people. Even after she had gone through the same SafeSport procedures and knew what it felt like to be in this situation, she still had the conflict of trying to see one of her closest friends in a different light. He really did seem to go out of his way for her to help her get her love for the sport back while also gaining some financial stability.

Otherwise,

Spoiler

I found it interesting that she was told that Rudy Galindo had a successful career because he had essentially stayed in the closet for so long. In what world, USFS? He was successful on the junior scene both solo and with Yamaguchi, but he had some really brilliant performances at Nationals before he hit big in 1996-- and he was typically buried in the standings. The whole discussion about having to go about a certain path with Gracie if it were to come out that she was bisexual is so annoying. This sport should be a safe place for LGBTQ youth to go and 'be themselves' or at least escape the fear of having to constantly pretend, but USFS still sure seems stuck in their ways. Although one part I can't agree with Gracie on is the marking of Johnny Weir. His programs were empty. It wasn't because he was out and proud

Wait, I’m confused she LGBT?

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

I'm still finishing the Streisand memoir

Child, you have patience that this Virgo could only dream of. That was a hard pass for me.

 

[MacMadame]

Wait, I’m confused she LGBT?

Bi. So yes.

 

[peibeck]

Child, you have patience that this Virgo could only dream of. That was a hard pass for me.

I just don't have the energy to read every night if it's been a tough day at work. Add on top of that Bab's memoir being almost 1000 pages, and it's taken me a long time to get through. Otherwise it's been a pretty easy ready and sometimes very interesting.

Maybe I'll take Gracie's book to work and try and read it on lunch hour.

 

[overedge]

I've yet to read Gracie's book, but I am reminded of Little Girls In Pretty Boxes which detailed the horror show behind the scenes in gymnastics and figure skating. That some of the parents accepted such treatment of their children as part of the climb to success without question, absolutely baffles me.

There's always reasons.

What if she could have gone to the Olympics but missed out because we didn't support her enough/didn't send her to the right coach/stopped paying for it because we thought we couldn't afford it. We wouldn't be good parents if we didn't do everything we could. If we don't she'll be disappointed in us forever.

That coach isn't too tough, you're too lazy. You'll thank him/her later on for pushing you.

What do you mean, you're hurt. You're going to be sore, and if you aren't sore you're not training hard enough. Quit whining and get back out there.

And so on, and so forth.......

 

[MacMadame]

There is a question of whether the sport makes Crazy Skating Parents or Crazy Skating Parents are attracted to the sport. IME it's a bit of both.

I do think that some parents believe that, if their kid is talented at something, it's the parents' job to do everything in their power to help them express that talent and get as far as possible. Including taking out second (and sometimes third) mortgages, moving the family or breaking it up and moving part of it to a better training center, possibly even neglecting the other siblings because all the money is going to the talented one.

I am not that kind of parent. I believe in limits. This is probably why one of my kids isn't writing a memoir like "I'm Glad My Mom Died." OTOH, she also isn't starting on Broadway and winning Tonys. It's a trade-off.

 

[LeafOnTheWind]

https://twitter.com/TODAYshow/status/1754868380148932938?t=BZKWP2cCz0oNPFipBxNA4Q&s=19

Interview with Gracie this morning on the "Today" show with Savanah Guthrie.

The thought I had watching this interview is that skating is too obsessed with carrying over what should happen on ice to off ice. What I mean by that is if you make a mistake on ice you should try to carry on, keep the character and get back on track. Keep pretending everything is fine, put it behind you and get the rest done.

This is fine for a short/long program performance. It doesn't need to be the attitude you carry off ice. It is preventing people from getting help they need.

I'm just quoting myself here from the tv thread because I'm too lazy to type again.

 

[skatfan]

I just don't have the energy to read every night if it's been a tough day at work. Add on top of that Bab's memoir being almost 1000 pages, and it's taken me a long time to get through. Otherwise it's been a pretty easy ready and sometimes very interesting.

Maybe I'll take Gracie's book to work and try and read it on lunch hour.

I’ve enjoyed Babs memoir. She clearly wrote it and it has a point of view!

 

[4rkidz]

I'm just quoting myself here from the tv thread because I'm too lazy to type again.

I can see her being a great adult skater coach. Good luck to her

Eta. I need to read Babs memoir too

 

[Allskate]

I am not that kind of parent. I believe in limits. This is probably why one of my kids isn't writing a memoir like "I'm Glad My Mom Died." OTOH, she also isn't starting on Broadway and winning Tonys. It's a trade-off.

Does an actor/singer have to have intense and borderline abusive parents in order to eventually end up on Broadway?

Is there no other way to be a top level skater? I read Nathan Chen's memoir, and it made me very sad. He's an Olympic champion, but I would not subject my kid to what his family did even if my kid were guaranteed an Olympic gold medal.

I'm going to buy Gracie's book to support her, but I might wait to read it until I think I'm in the right frame of mind.

 

[Hedwig]

Spoiler: Spoiler

I’ll say this for Scott. He had his work cut out for him selling me to Frank, whose initial impulse was to take a hard pass. He had heard that I was high maintenance, which surprised me, to be honest. I knew that my shouting matches with Alex could be loud, but I had no idea my voice carried all the way to Los Angeles. It speaks to the culture of skating that I was cast as the problem while the behavior of the adult, Alex, seemed to go largely unremarked upon.

A paragraph in her book and a very very important sentence, IMO. Also on this board I have read people saying that some skaters are trouble makers or are not working hard enough or are giving words to their coaches and always with the condescening voice of them being in the wrong.
But maybe it was the adults being wrong. Like Kostornaia that some very few people on this board always cast as headstrong and not as easy to guide. Well hell - if Eteri is your coach, pushing against her abuse should be applauded instead of criticising it. In the end we want these children and teenagers to become self assured, happy and well- adjusted people and the skating culture at the moment does NOT foster that.

and this as well:

I wasn’t wrong. I must give the Russians grudging respect for one thing: They don’t pretend their athletes are anything but cogs in a machine. They may be brutally obvious about it, but at least everyone is clear what the priorities are: medals over the health and well-being of their athletes. U.S. Figure Skating officials wanted us to believe that we’re one big caring family when their actions with me over the years suggested the relationship was much more transactional. I make them look good, they’ll make me look good.

 

[TAHbKA]

Is there no other way to be a top level skater?

No. Just in order to develop the needed flexibility one has to be in a constant pain for several months if not years. I don't know a single person who just did a split because they felt like out of blue. In figure skating not only you need to be flexible, but you get to fall quite a lot, so imagine the pain one has to be in all the time. Add being cold most of the time and well, I fail to see why would anyone want it. I sure hated it - the cold, the pain and well, the coaches who I can't recall being mean, but they were not wiping our snot either.

 

[Frau Muller]

I’m still in the early pages.

So who is Cruella - the nasty female coach from Springfield, Illinois? (Gracie’s main coach before Alex.)

 

[Flip Jump]

I’m still in the early pages.

So who is Cruella - the nasty female coach from Springfield, Illinois? (Gracie’s main coach before Alex.)

Susan Liss, I do believe.

 

[Lanie]

I really enjoyed it. I was up all night with post-surgical pain, so why not devour it. Whoever helped her write it did really well capturing Gracie's voice. As someone who had similar parenting, my heart went out to her and I had moments I just felt, 'Oh, honey, I wish I knew you so we could have a talk!'

I am glad Gracie had some good people in her corner and is now living a happier life. She's really giving back in her coaching and finding joy again, has a solid support system behind her now. I am proud of her.

It's hard to associate all the things she said about John Coughlin with the other things we know of him, especially for me with my personal experiences which were just kinda gross. But people are all faceted. It must be hard for Gracie to reconcile all of that with the person she knew who really did good in her life, who also harmed other people.

It's not an indictment of skating itself, but of things we all talk about here: the politics, the image conscious bullsh*t that makes these girls diet diet diet hard to look like little waify ice princesses, the doping, the abuse, all hidden behind something that's such a beautiful sport and art we all love so much. I hope with her memoir out there --I was impressed USFSA was really promoting it at Nationals tbf--she can help enact change because it NEEDS TO HAPPEN. Mentalities from the 50s need to go the way of the dodo.

 

[Spiralgraph]

I'll be picking up my copy of Gracie's book at my library today. I've read all the spoilers in the thread so I'm somewhat prepared for her story. That she still wants to skate in any capacity is amazing after all she must've gone through.

 

[AngieNikodinovLove (ANL)]

It's hard to associate all the things she said about John Coughlin with the other things we know of him, especially for me with my personal experiences which were just kinda gross.

Yes, when I get the book, this will be the one part for me that will be interesting to digest because he was Ashley Wagner’s attacker. The top two women at that time have both been assaulted, she seems to have had a good relationship with him. Yet all I keep thinking about at the moment is that he was the one who assaulted Ashley.

Because I am LGBT I will be interested to see what she shares about her discovering she is also LGBT. That part for me was surprising as well.

 

[PRlady]

I’m reading it fast. My goodness it’s going to be hard to root for women skaters after reading this.

 

[LeafOnTheWind]

I've had a hard time following women's skating for a while now. It's very clear that a specific body type was rewarded. Given what we already knew about eating disorders, this can only have gotten worse for skaters.

I don't understand how they can go back and see the likes of Tonya Harding and Midori Ito skate and still down mark skaters that don't fit the tiny waif model.

 

[Hedwig]

She did an admirable job of describing her mixed feelings about Coughlin. Something that the partner of Sorensen might want to read.

It is a great read so far.

Does anyone know what happened to Restencourt? He seems to have vanished into thin air according to her book.